wordless groans.

A poem written in desolation. In self-destruction.

I had a struggle. And too ashamed and prideful to tell anyone I kept it to myself. And deluded myself into thinking I can cope, that I can manage the struggle on my own. But it led me to a place of desolation, where I was all alone. I struggled to vocalize my anguish to God because of shame and guilt. But He was gracious. And He heard my worldless groans and He saved me from my self-destruction.

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I wandered a bit further than where I was supposed to be

Beyond the border of safety

To the place, to the belief

That I can suffice by myself in the wilderness

A place where I do not know to depend

Where a heart shouting for help is heavily guarded by pride

Pride and a wall of facade self confidence

When my words can't seem to cry for help

Hear my wordless groans

Reach out a helping hand and save me

From my wordless misery

Save me, and hear my cry